Did you know you can experience hangovers without having a drop of alcohol?
As someone who doesn’t drink (I just don’t like the taste), I can’t tell you what an alcohol-induced hangover feels like. But I do know what it’s like to wake up feeling foggy, fatigued, and irritable – and it’s not because I’m sick.
Meet the emotional hangover.
It may not be a formal diagnosis, but New York University researchers say emotional hangovers are a real nervous system response that lingers long after an intense emotional experience ends. You may feel drained, disconnected, or emotionally flat hours later or the next day.
And it’s not just limited to stress. Emotional hangovers can follow tough moments, like arguments or a hard day at work, and joyful occasions, like weddings, vacations, or family gatherings.
“An emotional hangover is your system telling you it needs to recharge,” explains licensed marriage and family therapist Liza Alex Baker, LMFT, M.A. “There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s simply how your body processes intense experiences.”
Wired differently
Not everyone experiences emotional hangovers the same way. Introverts are more prone to emotional fatigue because they’re more susceptible to sensory overload, especially in social settings.
“There’s a lot going on, and they may keep up with it during the event, but afterward, they feel so drained and disconnected,” says Baker. “Their nervous system is releasing more cortisol in these moments, which keeps them up, but then the exhaustion comes after.”
Meanwhile, extroverts thrive off of energy from other people. The more challenging part for them is when the party ends and they’re left by themselves.
“Extroverts are often uncomfortable with quiet, and they have a hard time with one-on-one conversations or being alone,” says Baker. “Depending on how you move through the world, emotional fatigue will show up in different ways. It’s just different nervous systems, different brain wiring.”
Protect your peace
Processing an emotional hangover requires some self-awareness and knowing what you need to recharge. Baker likens it to the airline oxygen mask rule: You have to secure your own mask before helping others.
“Your instinct might be to put the mask on a child first, but what happens to you? You pass out. You can’t help anyone,” she says. “If you don’t know what that thing is for you to recharge, then you’re not really good for yourself or anybody else around you. You’re just going to be depleted.”
Figuring out your own reset ritual requires being honest about what actually restores your peace. I usually find myself doom scrolling on social media more often than I’d like, but I know from experience that walking along the beach, reading, and crocheting can help me recharge. For Baker, it’s a cup of hot tea, a hot bath, and a quick meditation in the morning. It might take some trial and error before you find yours.
Resetting in the moment
There are also ways to prevent the post-event crash from hitting so hard. Baker recommends a simple self-reflection in the moment to keep your nervous system regulated.
“Rather than being on autopilot and just going, going, going, you take a deep breath and acknowledge what you’re feeling,” she says. “Overwhelmed. Nervous. Scattered. You name it, neutralize it with a deep breath, and then normalize it. ‘Of course, I feel this way, there’s a lot going on. This makes sense.’”
Naming, neutralizing, and normalizing helps shift the brain from a reactive state into the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive functioning, allowing you to feel more in control.
“You’ll start to feel a little bit more online,” Baker adds.
Breathing techniques can also help. Try doing it discreetly throughout the event or right after:
- The Diaphragmatic Breath: Best for when you feel shut down, numb, or emotionally flat. Inhale through your nose for about four seconds, while pushing your belly outward. Then, release a long, slow breath out through your mouth for eight seconds.
- The Physiological Sigh: This can be done unnoticed in a crowded room. Take a deep inhale through your nose, and immediately follow it with a second, sharp inhale. Finish with an extended, sighing exhale.
Honor your energy
Ultimately, managing an emotional hangover means dropping the judgment and supporting yourself by taking the time to recover, being patient, and practicing self-care.
“Your body’s literally telling you: Take a moment,” says Baker. “So, have compassion. Ask yourself, ‘What do I need right now?’ And actually listen.”
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Taking care of your mental health is a lifelong journey. Explore more stories on self-care and ways to support your well-being:
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